Dreaming Realistically

A cafe, a cozy coffee shop in a two story home. Nothing eccentric, just a place for friends and colleagues to come and share conversation over a glass of coffee or tea. Themed days would be a must as well. Saturday mornings would be for storytelling, but not just reading from a book and turning the page. Real story telling, acting it out, going off of memory, possibly making it up as they went along. Once a month, stories in French, maybe even other languages. A coffee shop that does not see languages as a barrier, but welcomes the new words with open ears. On the walls, local art, paintings, photographs and even poems. Speaking of poetry, Sunday afternoons would be poetry readings. An open mic night every other week as well. All forms of creativity would be welcomed in this coffee shop. If a person wanted to share their creativity, this was the place for them. A judge free area, where people were applauded just for having the courage to share. This is the first floor, with open layout and an inviting atmosphere.

Upstairs is a book lovers paradise. Books of all ages, genres and authors for sell or even just to read there on the spot. A few chairs allowing people to find a quiet corner and just read. No new books, but still newer books. A used book store specializing in words, not money. Each book carefully selected by the owner. Well, maybe not each and every book, I still need a life after all. The money does not matter, just enough to get by and keep the doors open. A couple bedrooms with wall to wall and floor to ceiling bookcases. Enough books to spend a few years locked away and still not read all the words. Those beautiful words, carefully selected by each author to portray a certain emotion, describing scenes in order to transport the reader to where the authors mind was when pen had been put to paper. Upstairs would be a place for those creative minds drinking coffee downstairs to one day hope to attain their work too.

Another room upstairs, a small one, with a tiny bathroom and just enough room for a dresser and bed. A homey room, barely able to fit both of them. On the dresser a checkbook that barely balanced at the end of each month, but for the two living in the room, their life had never felt richer or more full of meaning. Times were not always easy, some days better than others, but they made it work. It was hard to leave work and not take it home, especially since their work was their home and their home was their work. No matter the day, good or bad, at the doorway into their room, all of it was let go. All the coffee spilled, plates broken and muffins burnt, they just let go, stepping into a room full of love. That doorway represented their escape from all the headaches of the day. A loving, honest environment with no judging, no heartache just pure, breathtaking love. The room for the couple that had a dream and shared it with everyone else.

My girlfriend has a dream to share her love of languages with everyone around her in the form of a small cafe in a two bedroom home. We recently discussed how sometimes it is good to just dream, even if it may never come true, so I did. The upstairs of the house would be mine, surrounded daily by books of all kinds, spending my day reading, writing and just talking about books with people. The books are only part of my dream for the upstairs though. The other part being that small bedroom. I have dreamed before, from realistic (graduating college), to unrealistic (writing the next great American novel), so why not dream a little of both. If I am lucky, I may just get a nice happy medium. Find a girl that see’s my dreams and her dreams and finds a way for both of them to come true and share in them together.

Dreaming is good for you, dreaming helps you set goals and push yourself to accomplish them. When I dream I try to be as realistic with myself as possible. I could be called an optimist with a pessimistic outlook. I know life will have good times, but I have my doubts I will be able to achieve my wildest dreams. I would love to find myself without any financial responsibilities, living comfortably abroad, focusing on my writing and helping get my creativity out to other people. Let me reiterate however, I do not need to be rich, owning multiple homes or cars or a yacht. A comfortable life doing what I love and sharing it with others is all I ask for. Well that and a pretty girl by my side pushing me intellectually and challenging my writing to always be better.

It is not that I could not be happy alone, I finally realized I could only a few years ago. But I have learned that being with some one pushes me. The girl I am currently seeing pushes me more than she probably realizes. Not only does she push me to be the best man possible for her, she pushes me in my creative endeavors as well. On top of working on my anger issues, my lack of being emotional at times and even my over worrying personality, she also sees my passions and lets those passions run free. She never says “I could not do that”, or “aim lower”. She pushes me to be creative even when I feel like I have nothing left. She keeps me especially calm on the months when the checkbook will not balance no matter what I do. She understands when I need to be left alone, but also when I need someone even if I do not realize it. I can go off and find happiness alone, but being with her, I feel like I have a purpose and a meaning only she can show me.

I am a planner. I like to make plans, have goals I can check off and see progress. For some dreams though, so many boxes have to be checked before I feel like I can even go for the dream. It feels as though those boxes will never get checked. Bills never seem to go away no matter what I do and of course the root of all evil causes more stress in my life than it should, I know that. It is difficult for me, some-days, to just enjoy the moment when I cannot help but wonder if I can even pay all of my bills the next month. These are the days I love her the most. She sees my emotions and helps me shut down all the bad ones. She helps me see how truly wonderful my life is, and how I should not let one negative aspect cover up all the positive. She helps pull me out of my shell and start to enjoy the small things in life and not let it pass me by. And for that, I am grateful.

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