I have tried many times. Started one project, only to lose motivation, and start another one. But yet nothing ever gets finished. Nothing ever really gets off the ground. A novel, a short story, a well written lengthy thought provoking blog post. It is never good enough. None of my writing will ever be good enough it seems. To be called a writer, recognized for my writing, would be a great accomplishment. But why? Why do I even write? Is it for the notoriety? To be recognized on the street by one of my readers? Maybe it is because of my outlandish idea that one day I can spend my days traveling around the world, frequenting local coffee shops, writing and getting paid for it.
Crazy, huh? In the high tech, self-publishing world we currently live in, I doubt I would ever make a living on writing alone. This isn’t the days of Fitzgerald or Hemingway. Or even Hunter S. Thompson. These days free lance writers are that, and so much more. yet my dream does not change. Rather, it drives me even more. To be the exception, and not the rule. So, do I call myself a writer? Far from it. I am not a writer. I am a Technology Specialist for one of the best Universities in the United States. I am a boyfriend to my girlfriend. Not always the best one, but I still try to be. Same goes for being a friend to my friends. I am a romantic, sports enthusiast, lover of books and writing. But I am not a writer.
Is anyone really a writer? Sure they write, but do they really feel like they deserve the title of “writer”? Sure they do, there are some pompous people out there who think they deserve far more than they do. Maybe some really do. I am sure some do indeed deserve that title. If anyone tried to say Tolkien, Martin or Lewis were not writers, people would protest. I would protest. But today, so many people call themselves writers, when they do not deserve to be put into the same category as those previously mentioned. At least in my opinion, “I am a writer”, is thrown around way too much.
So, now that my rant is over about over pretentious self-publishers polluting the writing world with mediocre, terribly edited works that allows them to call themselves writers, I can try to continue with evaluating if I am a writer. I write quite a bit these days. Nothing to thoughtful, just words strung together to form sentences. No, I am not. Far from it. I do not label myself a writer. I do not think I will be able to call myself a writer anytime in the near future either. At the same time, how does the old saying go; Fake it till you make it? Maybe I am a writer after all.